Suzanne Ragan Lentz

luminary for emergence

Broken Open

There are experiences that happen or situations lived through  that have broken my being open and left me to stitch myself back together again. It could have been an emotional, spiritual, or physical break and it seems more and more that these are the essence of the human experience.

I am in the midst of stitching myself together now (from voluntary and involuntary experiences). This past summer I enrolled in Marie Forleo’s Rich, Hot and Happy B-School. Surrounded by the most amazingly supportive sorority in the world, it sounded like just the thing to jump-start my web presence and therefore increase clientele. And, whereas, I now have a lovely website (I do love it) – I have less clients now then when I started because I fell into the trap of overwhelm.

That which I completed of the course was amazing. But at the same time I added Sundays to my client schedule so that I was working my day job, completing B-School assignments, seeing energy work clients, or participating in an energy intuitive mentoring program pretty much every day of the week and, frankly, burned myself out utterly and completely. Four months later, I am still digging myself out; stitching myself together so that I can be of value to myself and others.

In the midst of this after four years of trying to conceive, I have realized that pregnancy is most likely just not in the cards this time around. This devastated me to the core of my being– the kind of devastation that includes “What is the point of living?”. Wherein those years of trying still held promise – this shift of perception tried to pull an iron curtain around my heart. It has been hard. But, thankfully, Return to Love by Marianne Williamson has been my book of choice this last few weeks as she has renewed my faith in looking for miracles. One miracle that happened just this past week was reading an article in The New Republic that bluntly speaks of the risks associated with having biological children at an older age. Aging and DNA damage is real. And somehow this quelled the emotional storm within hence it’s miracle status.

So we are moving on to other promises and hopes and dreams in this life. Last week this meant that I was in a copywriting retreat to re-establish my ground so I can help other women achieve their goals of conception and birthing healthy babies — most specifically by getting this blogging back on track.

What ways have you stitched yourself back together after overwhelm?

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