Suzanne Ragan Lentz

luminary for emergence

Behind the Veil

Behind the Veil - Fantastic Mr. Fox

I had thought that this entry would be posted last week but the Universe had other plans. I trust a lot in the mystical ways of the Universe’s divine timing these days. Partly, it’s the only thing to depend on.

At the beginning of May, I ran into a friend at a party who commented on how full my schedule must be as I had just rented my very own office space. She was excited for me. And then I let her in on a little secret, one that I am very open about in person with friends but may not have publicly stated:

I chose to rent an office rather than pay myself.

And it has been the best decision. In part, because now I have a room of my own and it’s importance is not lost on me.

Enter stage left
Two weeks ago, I received a call late at night from someone I know well who offered me a job working as their assistant on a part-time temporary basis. My immediate response was a resounding yes. I was going out of town and we agreed to meet the beginning of the following week.

Over the next 24 hours, my brain felt like it was working overtime. This after an experience with a healer the weekend before in which I felt my brain go silent. I can’t begin to tell you how amazing a quiet brain can be. This opportunity had the negative chatter going. But I chose to trust the path my soul thought as right.

We met last Tuesday. It felt really good in that I would work for them for three days a week and for my own practice the other two days. From my end it also felt very temporary as I was filling in until a permanent solution was found. I was like the pitch hitter or relief pitcher.

I was set to start this past Monday.

But the Friday before I got a call in which I was un-hired. It took a little while to understand what was going on during the call as it was put in terms of this situation was not right for me in a laundry list of ways. So it wasn’t until the third time through that I realized that this wasn’t a conversation that we were having.

I was told that I wasn’t really excited about the job and that I would feel relieved once this call was over.

I did not feel relieved.

And in that feeling realized just how excited I had been about this opportunity. I realized how excited I had been in the number of folks I had already told.

The gifts
In the aftermath, I gave myself until Saturday morning to basically grieve. I was crying so grief was definitely involved. I am still unsure why. But we very much have a pick-yourself-up-by-the-bootstraps kind of mentality in our house. Only one night surged up on the sofa watching the Fantastic Mr. Fox is allowed.

Sunday brought a rush Sweetness Herbal order from a friend for a retreat that starts today. I was able to create a gift set and mail it to her on Monday for Wednesday delivery.

A photo posted of part of the shipment prompted someone else to contact me about making gift sets in the future for her retreats.

And, today, I have spent holding space for a former client who is participating in a potentially life-changing workshop today and for a friend who had surgery as a result of a bicycle/car collision last night. And being present with another friend, their partner. I am in their living room writing this.

I also feel much more rooted in my practice, in the work that I am doing in the world. A big part of what I love about the work that I do is the relationships that have been created and formed and nurtured. I love seeing the journey, your journey.

It’s not always pretty or clear-cut but it is human. And being human is one of the greatest gifts that we could ever receive.

Until next timeā€¦

always yours, s